Some More Lexophilia For Ye

[Robodene]

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.  He acquired his size from too much pi.



2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.



3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.



4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.



5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.



6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.



7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.



8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.



9. Two silk worms had a race.  They ended up in a tie.



10. Time flies like an arrow.  Fruit flies like a banana.



11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.



12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.



13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.  One hat said to the other, "You stay here; I'll go on a head."



14. I wondered why the cricket ball kept getting bigger.  Then it hit me.



15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab centre said: "Keep off the Grass."



16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.  When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, "No change yet."



17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.



19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.



20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.



21. A backward poet writes inverse.



22. In democracy it's your vote that counts.  In feudalism it's your count that votes.



23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.



24. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!



25. Time flies.  You'll be surprised how fast they are.



26. Innuendo is not an Italian suppository.

[dapleb]

26 of the finest dadsey jokes, nice juan. :0)

[bjorge]

I got maybe 15 of them 😐

...but those 15 are good 😎

[drewpy]

some were cringe worthy, which is a good thing

This post was last modified: 26-09-2020, 08:33 PM by drewpy.

[Robodene]

I have re-reading to 'get' them all. Just about there now.

[Studley Ramrod]

:rotflmmfao: Some absolute crackers there Rob.

[peter-may]

I love these, and theres a few new to me ones there! Great stuff.

[alanfavell]

:good:

 

Don't forget about the Geography teacher - arrested for crimes against Humanities

[Quartermaster]

Sounds like a 5 minute section of one of Ken Dodd's marathon locki-in sessions.

[TKH]

Oh dear but 10/10 for the effort!

[peter-may]

If two vegetarians have a confrontation, is it still called a beef, or is it a quornfrontation?....discuss.