+- Forums (https://www.carpe-tdm.net)
+-- Forum: Piston broke (https://www.carpe-tdm.net/forumdisplay.php?fid=5)
+--- Forum: Comedy Central (https://www.carpe-tdm.net/forumdisplay.php?fid=19)
+--- Thread: A Holiday Poem (/showthread.php?tid=9659)
A Holiday Poem - tdm850rider - 25-12-2013
FOR MOTORCYCLISTS:
'Twas the night before Christmas, And not until Spring
Would a motor be running, not even a Wing.
The bikes are all sleeping, They're covered and warm,
Batteries are tended, nylon covers their form.
My Bros were all nestled down snug in their beds,
While visions of chromium danced in their heads.
And I in my doo-rag, bike jacket and boots
Was out shoveling snow, and dreaming of scoots.
Then from the horizon there came such a clatter
My shovel I dropped--what could be the matter?
Away up the hill, I slogged through the snow
Looked up at the sky; where'd all that noise go?
Then a throb from the heavens, like straight pipes so hearty
Gave Summer's good thoughts, a loud Bikers' party.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear
But a Hog Ultra Classic, Red trailer in rear!
With a little old rider, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
More rapid than V-Rods his Ultra came on,
And he whistled, and shouted, and sang out this song;
"Now, Springer! Now, Dyna! Now Road King and Geezer!
On Yammie! On Trumpet! On Vict'ry and Beezer!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now RIDE away! RIDE away! RIDE away all!"
As small bikes that from the semis do fly,
When they meet with the air blast, mount to the sky,
So up to the house-top that Ultra it flew
With a trailer of goodies, and St. Nickolas too
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The rumble and thunder of pipes that gave proof.
I ran in the house, boots thumping around,
And in came St. Nick all bearded and round
Dressed all in black leather, from do-rag to boot
His chaps were all tarnished with road grime and soot;
A T-bag of goodies he'd flung on his back
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack
His shades -- how they twinkled! his do-rag how scary!
With chains intertwined, through skulls that were cherry!
His droll little mouth had Gold Teeth that did glow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow.
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
Non-Smoking Laws didn't give him a grief!
He had a broad face and a large fat beer belly
That shook when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly
He was tattooed and plump, a right jolly old slider,
So I tossed a cold Beer--he was also a rider.
A wink of his eye as he downed that cold beer,
Gave me to know I had nothing to fear
He spoke not a word, but went straight to my ride
And fixed it with Chrome, Horsepower and Pride
And giving the peace sign with a Biker's good cheer
Strode off to his Ultra that was rumbling near
He sprang on the saddle, his gloves on the bars
A wheelie he threw; then was off towards the stars
And I heard him exclaim, as my chest swelled with pride
HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD RIDE!
______________________________________________________________
SEASONS GREETINGS TO ATTORNEYS:
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best
wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible,
low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral celebration of the
winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable
traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or the
secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious
or secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their c
hoice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.
May you have a fiscally
successful,
personally fulfilling and
medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally
accepted calendar year 2014, but not
without due respect for the
calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society
have helped to make our country the uniquely wonderful place that
it is (not to imply that our country is necessarily greater than any
other country, including one of your choice, should yours be
different from mine, but nonetheless including and recognizing
the distinctiveness of our country) and without regard to the race,
creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, political belief,
choice of computer platform or sexual preference of the wishee.
By accepting this greeting you are accepting these terms. This
greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely
transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies
no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes
for herself or himself or others, is void where prohibited by law
and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish
is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application
of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of
a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and the
warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a
new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.
Â
<signed> The Law Firm of Dewey, Cheetum, and Howe.