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Truisms? - Robodene - 10-12-2020
1. Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.
2. Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â To me, "drink responsibly" means don't spill it.
3.           The age of 60 might be the new 40 but then 9:00 pm is the new midnight!
4. Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â It's the start of a brand new day, and I'm off like a herd of turtles.
5. Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
6. Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â When I say, "The other day," I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15
years ago.
7. Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â I remember being able to get up without making sound effects.
8. Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â I had my patience tested - and I'm negative.
9. Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it will come back as a Tupperware lid that
doesn't fit any of your containers.
10. Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â If you're sitting in public and a stranger takes the seat next to you, just stare
straight ahead and say, "Did you bring the money?"
11. Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say "nothing," it does not mean I am free.
It means I am doing nothing.
12. Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three days, but whatever.
13. Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â I run like the winded.
14. Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â I hate it when a couple argues in public, and Ive missed the beginning, so don't know
whose side I'm on.
15. Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â When someone asks what I did over the weekend, I squint and ask, "Why, what did you
hear?"
16. Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â When you do squats, are your knees really supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an
aluminium can that is stuffed with celery?
17. Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â I don't mean to interrupt people. I just randomly remember things, and get really
excited.
18. Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â When I ask for directions, please don't use words like "east" or, worse, going west.
19. Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Don't bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would be boring. Â Rather, spend 30 seconds
in my head. That'll freak you right out.
20. Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Sometimes, someone unexpected comes into your life out of nowhere, makes your heart race,
and changes you forever. We call those people cops.
21. Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â My luck is like a bald guy who just won a comb in a raffle.Â
Truisms? - Gdog - 11-12-2020
Bloody brill Robo, awesome !! Funniest thing Iâve read in yonks, thanks for sharing.
Truisms? - agrantg - 11-12-2020
Excellent and shamelessly stolen.
Truisms? - Matlock - 11-12-2020
:rotflmmfao: All so true.
Truisms? - dablik - 11-12-2020
Haha very good
Truisms? - Quartermaster - 11-12-2020
Sadly I found myself ticking a lot of the boxes. Now where did I put my, oh sorry can't remember what I was looking for...................