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+--- Thread: It's A Joke (/showthread.php?tid=884)
It's A Joke - dapleb - 19-02-2023
I wrote a book on how to fall down the stairs.
Its a step by step guide.
It's A Joke - Snowbird - 21-02-2023
A woman driving along at speed passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait. The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic patronizing smirk & asked, 'What's your hurry?'
She replied, 'I'm late for work.'
'Oh yeah,' said the cop, 'what do you do?'
'I'm a Rectum Stretcher,' she responded.
The cop stammered, 'A what?............
'A Rectum Stretcher!'
'And just what does a rectum stretcher do?'
'Well,' she said, 'I start by inserting one finger in the rectum, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch it, until it's about 6 feet'
'And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot rectum?' he asked
'You give him a radar gun & park him behind a bridge..
It's A Joke - dapleb - 22-02-2023
I was confused when my printer started playing music.
Until I realised the paper was jamming.
It's A Joke - dapleb - 24-02-2023
I accidentally drank a bottle of invisible ink last night.
I'm in the hospital now waiting to be seen.
It's A Joke - Snowbird - 24-02-2023
In honour of 9er riders the next james bond movie will be transexual, I can't wait for the release of Cocktopussy.
It's A Joke - dapleb - 01-03-2023
What do conspiracy theorists and Excel have in common?
They spreadsheet.
It's A Joke - dapleb - 09-03-2023
A book just fell on my head.
I only have my shelf to blame.
It's A Joke - ChrisG - 09-03-2023
The saying "I before E except after C" has been disproven by scientists.
It's A Joke - dapleb - 15-03-2023
What do you call a car with OCD?
Arrange Rover
It's A Joke - dapleb - 17-03-2023
I didn't want to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.
But when I got home all the signs were there.
It's A Joke - dapleb - 07-05-2023
What do you call a reluctant potato?
A hesitater
It's A Joke - dapleb - 09-05-2023
My yoga teacher came from Jamaica.
She teaches The Pilates Of The Carribbean
It's A Joke - peter-may - 15-05-2023
I've just landed a new job on shifts making chess pieces. I start on knights next week.
It's A Joke - dapleb - 27-05-2023
I've started investing in stocks, beef, chicken, vegetable.
One day i hope to be a bouillionaire
It's A Joke - dapleb - 30-05-2023
I saw a man going up a hill with a trolley full of horseshoes, four leaf clovers and rabbits feet.
I thought wow... he's pushing his luck.
It's A Joke - Studley Ramrod - 31-05-2023
It's A Joke - dapleb - 04-06-2023
I was going to propose to my girlfriend but my dog ate the ring.
Now it's a diamond in the ruff.
It's A Joke - tdm92 - 22-06-2023
I was going to re-marry my ex wife but she realised I was only after my money.
It's A Joke - tdm92 - 22-06-2023
Hedgehogs eh, why can't they just share?
It's A Joke - alanfavell - 16-08-2023
"I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes. Turns out it was the refrigerator...."