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It's A Joke - Printable Version

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It's A Joke - dapleb - 06-11-2022

Today was my son's fourth birthday party.

I did recognise him at first... I've never seen him be four.


It's A Joke - marko67 - 08-11-2022

I went to the sperm bank the other day to make a donation and the nurse asked me if I would masturbate in the cup

 

Had to admit to her I wasn't ready to compete yet.




It's A Joke - marko67 - 08-11-2022

I'm trying to get people to eat more dried grapes.

 

It's all about raisin awareness.




It's A Joke - dapleb - 08-11-2022

Someone keeps sending me flowers with the heads cut off..... I think I'm being stalked!


It's A Joke - dapleb - 10-11-2022

I had to fire the guy i hired to mow the lawn.



He just didnt cut it.


It's A Joke - Snowbird - 10-11-2022

Two African doctors walking along a hospital corridor were in an intense debate.

The first said "It's wooooooooooooooommmmbbbbbBB".

The second said "No, it's wooooooooooommmbbbaaaa."

A British doctor overhears them and decides to help and says "Gentlemen, I think the word you are looking for is 'womb.' "

They politely thanked him and walked on.

One then turned to the other turn and said "I bet you he has never seen a hippopotamus, let alone hear one fart underwater!"




It's A Joke - dapleb - 11-11-2022

Lolzio.





My friend jqck says he can communicate with vegetables.



Jack and the beans talk


It's A Joke - Snowbird - 12-11-2022

Drunk loads of newcastle brown last night and needed a wee, best I could muster was a why aye.




It's A Joke - dapleb - 13-11-2022

My boss told me to have a good day..... So i went home








If we are serious about saving the planet we should stop printing calendars.



They are the reason our days are numbered


It's A Joke - alanfavell - 15-11-2022

The manager of the luggage factory asked me why I should be given the job.

 

 

 

I struggled to make a case.........

 

 

Ishing doon so ahhll get ma coat

 

Dunno if I made this joke up or heard it :unsure2:




It's A Joke - dapleb - 15-11-2022

I'm never again donating money to anyone collecting for a marathon.



They just take the money and run.


It's A Joke - dapleb - 18-11-2022

I accidentally drank some holy water with my laxative.



I'm about to start a religious movement.


It's A Joke - Snowbird - 20-11-2022

I gave my wife an orgasm last night.







Ungrateful bitch spat it out!


It's A Joke - Catteeclan - 20-11-2022

Quote:I gave my wife an orgasm last night.







Ungrateful bitch spat it out!
:rotflmmfao:



It's A Joke - bondy - 21-11-2022

Just answered a knock at the door and there's bloke standing there about 3 foot 3 inches tall. What do want I say? I'm the meter man he says.

 

Boom Boom, I'll get me coat.




It's A Joke - alanfavell - 30-11-2022

Wales


It's A Joke - dapleb - 30-11-2022

People said I would never get over my obsession with Phil Collins...but take a look at me now


It's A Joke - marko67 - 01-12-2022

My new dentist is a Hindu.



He says he can help me transcend dental medication.




It's A Joke - marko67 - 01-12-2022

[attachment=o15056]




It's A Joke - dapleb - 03-12-2022

My wife asked me "is it just me or is the cat getting fat"?



Apparently "no its just you" wasn't the right answer!