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+--- Thread: It's A Joke (/showthread.php?tid=884)
It's A Joke - dapleb - 06-08-2022
My wife bet me £1000 I couldn't turn spaghetti into a car.
You should've seen her face when I drove pasta.
It's A Joke - dapleb - 07-08-2022
Found out my wife was cheating on me today.
I asked her when she'd be home and she said "10-15mins max"
...my name is Steven!
It's A Joke - dapleb - 08-08-2022
What do you call your mums angry French sister?
A croissaunt
It's A Joke - dablik - 09-08-2022
Tonight were having Himalayan rabbit stew for dinner.               Â
Â
We found himalayan in the road.
It's A Joke - dapleb - 10-08-2022
Lolzio.
My wife asked if she could have a little peace and quiet while she cooked dinner.
So I took the battery out of the smoke alarm.
It's A Joke - Snowbird - 11-08-2022
I seem to have developed a phobia of german sausage.
I fear the wurst...
It's A Joke - alanfavell - 13-08-2022
An anteater walks into a bar. The landlord asks, "Can I get you a drink?"
<div>"Nooooooooooo"
"How about something to eat?"
"Nooooooooooo"
The landlord asks, "Whats with the long 'no's ?
"I was born with it."
Â
Â
<div>
Scientists definitively confirmed today that anteaters are incapable of contracting coronavirus.
<div>Apparently theyâre filled with anty bodies.
</div>
</div>
</div>
It's A Joke - drewpy - 13-08-2022
My son said," Dad when was the first time you fell in Love?"
I said," I was 18, I walked into a Bar and spotted the most Gorgeous Blonde I'd ever seen. Cupid fired his arrow the second I saw her."
He said," So what happened?"
I said," Nothing, the c*&t missed and hit your Mother".....
It's A Joke - dapleb - 18-08-2022
When my wife told me I had to stop impersonating a flamingo....I had to put my foot down!
It's A Joke - madmopedracer - 18-08-2022
<div style="font-family:inherit;">I hear some weird human has taught his labrador to play the trumpet while on the London Underground.
</div>
<div style="font-family:inherit;">Apparently he went from barking to tooting in about an hour.
![[Image: 1f611.png]](https://static.xx.fbcdn.net/images/emoji.php/v9/tee/1/16/1f611.png)
</div>
It's A Joke - marko67 - 18-08-2022
From the fringe fest.
Â
Whats the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?
Â
Â
Â
Â
Ones really heavy the others a little lighter...
It's A Joke - dapleb - 19-08-2022
Someone threw a jar of mayonnaise at me.
I was like "what the Hellman".
It's A Joke - drewpy - 19-08-2022
A bloke was sitting at the side of the road crying his eyes out, his dead hamster in his hands.
A fairy godmother asked him what the matter was. He said âI loved my pet hamster and it just died â.
The fairy godmother said âWell I canât bring it back to life, but I can suggest that you can make some good of the situationâ. The bloke asked âHow do I do that ?â The fairy
godmother replied âGo home put the hamster in a pan and add a bag of sugar. Heat the pan up stirring well and simmer for an hour. Allow to cool, pour it onto your garden and see what happensâ.
Â
The bloke did exactly as she suggested. The next day, he went into the garden and there were masses of daffodils everywhere! He ran back to the road where heâd seen the fairy godmother and she reappeared and asked the bloke how heâd got on. He said âItâs fantastic, there are daffodils everywhere!â The fairy godmother replied âThatâs really strange, you normally get tulips from hamster jam!â
It's A Joke - dapleb - 21-08-2022
On Monday we start diarrhea awareness week.
Runs until Friday.
It's A Joke - alanfavell - 21-08-2022
Fekin USA can't spell for shit.... diarrho
ea
Â
The red hole should help one remember......... :punishment:
It's A Joke - dablik - 21-08-2022
:rotflmmfao:
It's A Joke - agrantg - 22-08-2022
My mate's a chef and he has just crossed a potato with a sponge. It tastes crap, but it's great for soaking up the gravy.
It's A Joke - dapleb - 22-08-2022
6 topless women sounds nice. Dozen tit.
It's A Joke - waynedear - 22-08-2022
Whatâs the difference between acne and a catholic priest ?
Â
Acne doesnât usually come on a boys face until after heâs 12
It's A Joke - Snowbird - 22-08-2022
Quote:Whatâs the difference between acne and a catholic priest ?:rotflmmfao: :rotflmmfao:
Â
Acne doesnât usually come on a boys face until after heâs 12