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+--- Thread: It's A Joke (/showthread.php?tid=884)
It's A Joke - dapleb - 17-07-2022
Just broke two of my dad's old queen records.....now I want to break three.
It's A Joke - Snowbird - 17-07-2022
A good woman is like a good coffee.
Often drunk in the morning.....
It's A Joke - Snowbird - 18-07-2022
With the current heatwave just be glad it's not snowing!
Imagine shovelling snow in this heat!
It's A Joke - dapleb - 18-07-2022
My wife gets angry that I keep introducing her as my ex girlfriend
It's A Joke - dapleb - 19-07-2022
If your wife says she will be ready in 5 minutes she will be.
No need to remind her every 15 minutes about it!
It's A Joke - dablik - 20-07-2022
how true.It's A Joke - dapleb - 20-07-2022
What kind of car does a jedi drive?
A Toy-Yoda!
It's A Joke - dapleb - 21-07-2022
I've asked my wife to polish my medieval battle uniform while I go to the pub.
She's always wanted a night in, shining armour.
It's A Joke - dapleb - 23-07-2022
Someone told me my clothes were gay.
I said yes, they came out of the closet this morning.
It's A Joke - drewpy - 23-07-2022
Riding on the M1 yesterday I undertook a car from the Netherlands just so I could say that I 'passed the Dutchie on the left hand side'
It's A Joke - waynedear - 25-07-2022
Man walks into a chemists, asks the man behind the counter for a packet of 3, ribbed, the man says âIâll be needing those tonight, going to my girlfriends and Iâm sure her sister and mum fancy meâ.
âThey are all hot, Iâm going to smash the 3 of them tonightâ.
That evening he goes round and sits down to dinner with the 3 ladies.
The husband/father comes in, the man immediately starts praying, his girlfriend says she did not know he was religious, the man replies âI did not know know your dad was a chemistâ
It's A Joke - waynedear - 25-07-2022
Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation. Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough.
<div style="font-family:inherit;">After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, "Kin ya swallar?" The woman shakes her head no. Then he asks, "Kin ya breathe?" The woman begins to turn blue, and shakes her head no.
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<div style="font-family:inherit;">The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers, and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.
The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm, and the obstruction flies out of her mouth.
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<div style="font-family:inherit;">As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table. His brother said, "Ya know, I'd heerd of that there Hind Lick Maneuver but I ain't niver seed nobody do it!"
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It's A Joke - dablik - 26-07-2022
It's A Joke - dapleb - 27-07-2022
Who is the greatest chicken killer in Shakespeare?
Macbeth... because he did murder most foul
It's A Joke - drewpy - 29-07-2022
The fitness trainer asked me
"what kind of a squat are you accustomed to doing?"
I said, "Diddley"
It's A Joke - dapleb - 31-07-2022
My friend was bragging that his 3D printer can print a gun.
I wasn't impressed. I've had a canon printer for years.
It's A Joke - ChrisG - 01-08-2022
I woke up grumpy this morning.
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I usually let her have a lie in.
It's A Joke - marko67 - 04-08-2022
I went to the doctor the other day and he told me I had to stop masturbating.
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I asked him - why?
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He said,- because I'm trying to examine you
It's A Joke - Studley Ramrod - 05-08-2022
lol.
It's A Joke - madmopedracer - 06-08-2022
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<div style="font-family:inherit;">Q: Why do Norwegian Warships have a barcode on the side? A: So when the come back to port, they can Scan-di-navi-an
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<div style="font-family:inherit;">Q: How does a Grizzly kill it's prey? A: With it's Bear Hands
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