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+--- Thread: It's A Joke (/showthread.php?tid=884)
It's A Joke - dapleb - 13-06-2022
Two cats are having a swimming race. One cat is called "one two three", the other "un Deux trois". Which cat won?
"One two three", because "un Deux trois" cat sank.
It's A Joke - peter-may - 13-06-2022
Just got home from competing in the British house championships. I made the semis.
It's A Joke - dapleb - 14-06-2022
They told me I'd never be good at poetry because I'm dyslexic but so far I've made 3 jugs and a vase and they're lovely.
It's A Joke - dapleb - 15-06-2022
I was driving to the airport when I saw a sign that said "airport left".
So I turned around and went home.
It's A Joke - Snowbird - 15-06-2022
I've always hoped that when my time is up I'll die peacefully in my sleep after a few beers just like my grandad did.
Not screaming in terror like the passengers on his bus did.
It's A Joke - dablik - 16-06-2022
:rotflmmfao:
It's A Joke - peter-may - 16-06-2022
Quote:I've always hoped that when my time is up I'll die peacefully in my sleep after a few beers just like my grandad did.
Not screaming in terror like the passengers on his bus did.
Call me an anorak, but that is a bob monkhouse joke, and he said on tv, that it was probably the hardest joke to write and time correctly, that he had ever written..... I'll get me anorak...
It's A Joke - Snowbird - 16-06-2022
Some of the best are bob monkhouse jokes.
It's A Joke - dapleb - 16-06-2022
What is a pumpkins circumference divided by a pumpkins diameter?
Pumpkin Pi!
It's A Joke - dapleb - 18-06-2022
Today I saw someone waving and I wasn't sure if they were waving at me or someone behind me.
In other news I was fired from my lifeguard job.
It's A Joke - dapleb - 19-06-2022
My friend keeps saying "cheer up mate, it could be worse, you could be stuck in a hole underground full of water"
I know he means well
It's A Joke - Snowbird - 23-06-2022
Someone said my ring tone was offensive and I should change it, isn't anal bleaching expensive...
It's A Joke - alanfavell - 23-06-2022
Took my son to an orchard for an hour the other day ----- not the kind of apple watch he wanted
I used to be obsessed with snooker but I'm having a break
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It's summer - I don't need a coat
It's A Joke - dapleb - 23-06-2022
Haaa goodns.
What do you call a zombie that writes music?
A decomposer.
It's A Joke - dapleb - 24-06-2022
I lost my wife's audiobook.
Now I'll never hear the end of it.
It's A Joke - Tishabelle - 24-06-2022
Where would you find Michael Jackson at sea?
Bobbing up and down on a buoy
It's A Joke - dapleb - 25-06-2022
Unfortunately my obese parrot just died.
But it's a huge weight off my shoulders.
It's A Joke - dapleb - 27-06-2022
My boss asked me why I only get sick on workdays.
I said it must be my weekend immune system.
It's A Joke - drewpy - 28-06-2022
i phoned the tinnitus helpline today
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no-one answered, it just heard ringing
It's A Joke - dapleb - 29-06-2022
My cousin was hospitalised after shoving 28 small plastic horses in his rectum.
Doctors described his condition as stable.